Well, you see, it was like this Mr. Saint Peter, sir...

In the words of one Ricky Riccardo, I'm gonna have some 'splaining to do. I can see it now: I have died in some fascinatingly horrible fashion and have arrived at the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter stands there, looking rather snarky (hey, he's a saint, not a god), as I approach his Lazyboy (this is my picture, so you can just take a flying leap if you don't like my choice of Saint seating!). I stand before him, waiting to be let into Heaven, as he starts reviewing my naughty or nice list of everything I did while still possessing a pulse. He mutters a few uncalled for opinions regarding my excessive cursing and my weakness for a cold Dew, cigarettes and zombie movies. His mutterings become full fledged grumbles when he gets to my habit of warping young minds into liking zombies movies as well. And then it happens....he reaches the entry on my horrible deed I did today. He starts screeching in a banshee tone that I did the unforgivably bad and yadda yadda yadda. When I try to plead my case he will simply sputter and spaz about some phone call God received telling him exactly what happened and that I am just lucky God has cut back on his habit of striking folks down with lightning, otherwise I'd a been dead before I made it ten feet. And then he boots me outta there and I spend eternity sweatin' my butt off while telling Dahmer I don't want any recipe suggestions and hiding from a very unhappy Hitler (try to help a psycho dictator out and tell him his mustache looks dumb, and what do ya get? Sheesh.). And all this because it was darn chilly outside today. My eternal soul is doomed because I stepped out of a building at school today, felt the rather un-September like chill, and yelped, "Holy hell!" Not such a terrible thing, right? Totally forgivable...except for the tiny fact that I said it very loudly......right at the priest standing mere feet away. A priest, for cripes sake! These sorts of things only happen to folks like me....unlucky gooberknobs who spend so much time being in the wrong place at the wrong time that we haven't any time to be in the right place but once or twice in our lifetimes. Spent the next several minutes trying to erase the holy hell bit.....by sputtering out several "Aw, hell"s and "Damn"s. Big help, that. *unbelievably huge sigh* Why me?

You ever encounter those annoying folks who do that god-awful nasally nervous laugh thing every ten seconds or so? I have one of them in one of my classes...and I spend far too much class time plotting her untimely demise with far too much maniacal pleasure. Probably another thing that won't look so good on my record, huh?

Well, guess I better get back to the homework stuff.
*Still struggling to come up with schnazzy exit line like Dori has.....failing miserably*
Peace out river trout.....naw, that one really sucks.
Later tater?....nope
Indoor plumbing....it's gonna be big?.....um...no
can someone call a taxi and get me outta here, to beverly hills 90210.......not so much
Who we talkin' 'bout?.....probably not...but maybe
The weedhacker Verne, the weed hacker!.....nope, but it still rocks cuz it's Hammy
Steve's a pretty name........that Hammy's a pretty profound little fellow
Wanna help me find my nuts?....lmao, yep Hammy is a hoot

Just for the record, I welcome any suggestions at a cool exit line--I need all the help I can get. I struggled with cool exists on my myspace blog too darn it. HELP!

exit line-less me, signing off